


Flyboy

by FaunTK



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Astronauts, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:39:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaunTK/pseuds/FaunTK
Summary: Billy has kept his head down in life. He lives with his brother, has a fledgling art career, and takes what each day brings. He isn't prepared when an astronaut named Teddy walks into his life, comes close enough to touch, then flies off, heavenbound. If love blazes like a meteor, lighting his sky with something fast and dangerous and beautiful, Billy is determined it to catch it in his hands.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "You've come to know the fortunate and the inauspicious stars, but you don't know whether you yourself are fortunate or lucky." -- Rumi

Billy wipes his damp forehead with the dirty dishrag, too tired to care. He doesn't know if it's from the Orlando humidity or his body crying from exhaustion, all he knows is that he's hot, he's tired, and a dirty rag to his face won't make it any worse. He could be at home working on art projects, cleaning his way through Tommy's half of the dishes, or, let's be honest, binge watching House of Cards. No, his Friday night is spent working in Kate's bar, because he has nothing better to do with his life. While Kate's the owner of the fastest-growing bar in the Orlando area, while Tommy and Eli bartend, while Cassie consistently pulls tips from international businessmen, Billy's a freelance artist filling in for Tommy's usual bar-back.

Bar-back: the bartender's bitch boy for all intents and purposes. For just above minimum wage, Billy busses tables, cleans the glasses, carries drinks and ice from the storage room... the list of things that nobody else wants to do is endless. Which is why it takes Kate begging for help before he agrees. But even though the job description is dynamic, it never includes ogling by strangers. Eyefucking by patrons, usually women two drinks past drunk or the occasional man far past plastered, is confirmation that the night is especially shit. For the waitresses, sure, there's financial motivation. It's assumed that alcohol and a friendly face will result in something profitable. Billy doesn't have the financial motivation to be social. He's the bar gremlin, let out of the cage for entertainment. It takes someone especially drunk to fixate on the sweaty, tired, pissed-off bar-back.

Yet the blond man isn't drunk. He's been nursing the same beer for an hour and a half, staring into it when he isn't making one of his occasional glances towards Billy. And in his dark blue t-shirt and ripped jeans, he isn't blending into the crowd of after-meeting professionals or unwinding locals. He's out of place. And he's looking at Billy again, the multicolored lights of the bar shining within the crystal blue of his eyes. Billy would be lying if he said the attention didn't make his face warm a little. The man was easily the most attractive patron to give him attention. When the man smiles, Billy smiles back. The gaze holds until Billy looks away, shuffling back to Tommy and the other end of the bar.

"Need more Belvedere," Tommy says. Billy has to admit that Tommy is a skilled bartender. He's flashy with the bottles as he pours drinks, social with the patrons, and he rarely has a complaint from anyone he isn't cutting off.

"I just brought you some," Billy says. He grabs a clean rag and starts to wipe down the bar near Tommy.

"Yeah, and we need more. You should talk to him," Tommy says with a nod towards the blond. Billy rolls his eyes.

"You need Belvedere." Billy fully intends the petulant tone he gives. Tommy doesn't take his bait.

"I'm splitting my tips with you," Tommy says. Billy has his retort loaded in the chamber: _I baby your grown ass, don't push it if you like having clean clothes_. Tommy continues before he can cut in. "He's alone, Cassie can't crack him at all, and he's been staring at you all night. Billy Kaplan at bat, ladies and gentlemen!"

"You _want_ a cocktail fork to the face, don't you?" Tommy just grins. There are some nights Billy would love to punch Tommy right in his face. Tonight's one of them.

"Do it and I'll give you a break," Tommy says. Billy gives him a look, both tempted and insulted. He frowns in thought, looking down at the rag in his hand.

"Twenty minutes," Billy says. His legs and arms hurt.

"Ten."

"Fuck you."

"You're supposed to say 'Fifteen,'" Tommy says, grinning again. Billy glares at him, not dignifying Tommy's stupidity. "Fine, twenty. But you better get a tip out of him."

"You're my pimp now, too?" Billy asks as he wipes his face off with a clean rag. "Don't answer that," he says, cutting off whatever stupid comment Tommy was winding up to say.

As Billy steps from behind the bar, a hot rush of nerves washes over him. He's never had the confidence for this sort of thing. Tommy is the twin with more than his fair share of that. He bites his lip and commits to keeping it professional. The man is looking at his phone, rubbing his finger through the droplets of condensation that formed on the table from his drink. He doesn't look up until Billy is beside him, hand on the back of the chair. He's surprised, but smiles.

"Hi," the man says, giving a smile that makes Billy warm. Billy couldn't tell from a distance, but up close it's more obvious how much of him is pure muscle. As the man sits up taller, it's almost as if he grows in size, like a bear standing straight. As Billy's eyes draw upwards, the piercings along the shell of the man's ear glitter in the barlight, distracting from the crisp blue eyes that are even more vivid up close. But it isn't just how he looks, it's how he acts that has Billy interested in multiple ways. The man is relaxed. A confident kind of relaxed. He isn't out to prove anything or be anything, he's just there. That's a hell of a lot more than Billy can say for most of the people who come through the bar.

"Hi," Billy says back, his body buzzing. He can't help the nervous laugh that slips from his throat. "How's your drink?" The man shrugs.

"It's alright. I'm not much of a beer guy." He barely even looks at his drink as he answers, eyes focused on Billy.

"Then of all the drinks we have, maybe beer wasn't the best choice," Billy says with a grin. He's relieved when the man chuckles, smiling at him. Billy relaxes a bit. It's the first time he can remember a man making him both hot and comfortable at the same time. "I can get you something else."

"It's fine," the man says, shaking his head. "I'm not here to drink anyways, I just thought I'd check the place out. I'm new in town, and a friend suggested it."

"A local friend?" Billy asks. The man shrugs.

"His name is Nate Richards, he lives in Cocoa Beach. I don't know if that's local or not." Billy smiles and nods.

"Nate, yeah. He put some money into the place. I've met him a few times." Billy pulls a chair out, sitting down. "I'm Billy."

"Teddy," the man says. "Nice to meet you." Billy nods, enjoying the wash of relaxation after being on his feet for so long.

"I noticed you earlier," Billy says. "I was too busy to talk." Teddy lets out a deep, nervous chuckle, looking away. The sound rumbles straight through Billy's head.

"I didn't mean to bother you," Teddy says.

"It wasn't a bother," Billy says, leaning forward with a smile. Teddy smiles back, glancing down to his drink. "Enjoying the place so far?"

"Yeah. It's a good place to get away after work."

"What kind of work?" Billy asks. He can't identify the look that flashes across Teddy's face. Reluctance? Embarrassment? Billy's thoughts are spinning as silence lingers. He wonders if he should make a joke about bar-backing, or give Teddy an out from the topic completely. Teddy speaks before Billy knows what to say.

"Engineering," Teddy finally says. But there's something wrong with the way he says it, like he's testing how the words feel. His gaze floats in thought before it finally settles onto Billy. Teddy smiles and takes a sip of his beer.

"Yeah? What area?" Billy asks. He doesn't mean for it to be a test, but also does.

"Mechanical," Teddy says, faster and more practiced. But there's an emptiness. No specificity, no clarification. There's almost not even an interest. It's a dead-end topic that shouldn't be.

"Do you like it?" Billy asks with a smile. Teddy smiles back with a nod.

"I love it," Teddy says with the most authentic smile of the night. But he says nothing more.  "What about you?" Teddy asks. "Do you enjoy this?"

"Working in a bar?" Billy asks. Teddy nods. The laugh jumps from Billy's mouth. "Hell no. I'm filling in as a favor."

"What do you usually do?" As Billy prepares his answer, parsing the relevant information from the irrelevant interests, he compares it Teddy's bone-dry answer. If it were any other patron, Billy would assume Teddy was lying. But the smile was too genuine.

"I'm an artist," Billy says. "Freelance. I'm mostly doing concept art for proposals to entertainment studios, building up my portfolio. I do everything from movies to video games to comic books."

"And then?" Teddy asks.

"I'd love to work in animation. I'd also love to work as a comic book artist." That gets a smile out of Teddy.

"Yeah? Who's your favorite superhero?" Teddy asks.

"Scarlet Witch," Billy says. "I mean, Iron Man, Thor, and Batman are good, too. But she's been my favorite since I was three."

"Yeah," Teddy says with a smile. "I feel the same way about Captain Marvel. Gotta go with Superman over Batman, but I'm with you on Iron Man." Billy clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

"Superman over Batman? I'm not sure the rest redeems you." Teddy leans forward and smiles, warm and genuine and _hot_. Billy could melt underneath that smile.

"Agree to disagree?" Teddy asks. Billy's immediate urge is to do whatever Teddy says or wants. The sensible part of his brain is down to a three-second delay, but still active. When it takes over, Billy grins, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Maybe for a good tip." Teddy snorts.

"Putting a price to your values. Batman would disapprove." Billy laughs along with Teddy, actually _enjoying_ himself. Until the shatter of glass breaks his attention. He looks over to Tommy, who's holding the neck of a Belvedere bottle he's just smashed.

"Sorry," Billy says with a sigh. "I should go." Teddy looks over to the bar. He isn't quick enough to see Tommy's new weapon, but he gets a clear view of the way Tommy's face scrunches when he's mad. Tommy couldn't hide his emotions if they were invisible.

"Your boss?" Teddy asks. Billy snorts.

"Worse. My brother." Billy starts to stand up, but Teddy leans forward, voice softer. His eyes are locked onto Billy's.

"Are you going to be working over the next few days?" Billy, sits back down, looking at Teddy. Teddy has his arms crossed on the table, his whole weight shifted forward as he waits for Billy's answer.

"Maybe," Billy says. "Why?"

"I was hoping we could talk some more," Teddy says. He leans back into his chair, gaze darting around the bar. It eventually settles back onto Billy like a ship finding the harbor. Teddy's watching, waiting, _hoping_ , and Billy can't help but smile.

"I hadn't planned on it. But that doesn't mean I can't come and hang around." Teddy blinks, surprised. When he lets out a breath that's just pure relief, Billy's heart bounces inside of his chest.

"I'd like that," Teddy says.

"I can be here, then," Billy says with a smile. "Gives me more time to teach you that Batman is clearly superior." They both grin.

"Tomorrow then?" Teddy asks. "Around this time?"

"Tomorrow," Billy says with a nod. When he looks over to the bar, Tommy has gone beyond pissed and into nuclear. His face couldn't be any more scrunched if it were a sphincter. Billy grins, standing. "And I won't have a job distracting me." Teddy laughs, giving Billy a wave as he walks back to the bar.

The second Billy is back behind the bar, Tommy is there, fuming. "I said twenty minutes." He's trying not to yell, but it's a poor attempt. He nudges Billy towards the storage room. "Better have gotten a massive tip."

"Better," Billy says with a smile. Tommy falls into it, softening at the thought. "I got a date." Tommy stares at Billy with his mouth open, trying to both process the words and determine the appropriate level of anger. Before he can do either, Billy grabs a wet rag, balls it up behind his back, and shoves it in Tommy's mouth.

 

* * *

 

The next twelve nights were the best that Billy could remember having in a long time, all thanks to Teddy. Teddy showed up to the bar each night at 9:15, give or take ten minutes, and ordered a single glass of Flensburger Pilsener that he barely even touched. He pulled Billy over to the same booth each time, private enough for their time together while still having a nice view of the room. Teddy was polite, thoughtful, funny, and left Billy feeling a buzz that lasted deep into each night. But more than anything -- more than how genuine Teddy was, how kind he was, how warm he was, and how fucking _hot_ he was -- Teddy was comfortable. Billy could count on one hand the people he could completely open up to. Whether they were talking about movies, music, or the best milkshake flavor, Billy was always the center of Teddy's attention. Even when Billy slipped into his ramble about the historical parallels of comic book's art style and the development of modernism in the United States, Teddy listened. No man had ever done that outside of an art class. And Teddy didn't just listen when Billy went full nerd, he entertained it. If they were talking about superheroes, Teddy even matched Billy's nerd point for nerd point.

Teddy had become a kind of addiction for Billy. He was an emotional slice of pure bliss, a fragment of perfection that broke off from heaven and fell into his life. Billy could listen to Teddy talk for hours. Just _talk_. About how long he's been playing the guitar. About how he started playing basketball and roller hockey as a teenager, and how he still tries to play each weekend. About the time he almost electrocuted himself when he was nineteen while trying to install a new electrical outlet for his homemade computer. The one thing Billy never got out of Teddy was information about his job. If Billy pressed, he got vague references to a "boring project" that Teddy "can't wait to be done with." And before a single second of silence could pass, Teddy would smile, lean forward, and ask Billy about his art projects. Billy was a sucker for it every time.

As time went on, Teddy opened up with the rest of the bar staff. Cassie said Teddy was the best tipper she'd ever had that didn't try to sleep with her. Kate considered Teddy to be perfect for Billy in every way. Tommy was even impressed, though he showed it by sharing embarrassing stories of Billy. Teddy's arms around Billy are all that saved Tommy after he shared the time their parents caught Billy jacking off to the Blue Ranger. Teddy just rolled his eyes when Tommy wasn't looking, slid closer to Billy, and complimented his taste. But as friendly as Teddy was, he was never as open with the others as he was with Billy. Every night ended the same: they agreed to meet again, Billy rode the high until early in the morning, then finally Billy cracked at 2 a.m., indulging thoughts that left him lonely in bed and waiting for Teddy.

But tonight Billy is _actually_ waiting for Teddy. He's sitting in their booth, alone, the ice of Teddy's drink melting. 9:15 comes and goes. 10:15 comes and goes. Billy has his phone on the table, waiting for a text or a call. He reads back over the messages Teddy has sent throughout the week, from asking about Billy's day to little smile faces to let Billy know he's on Teddy's mind.  It's almost 10:30 before Teddy walks through the door. Billy isn't sure how to feel, both relief and frustration swirling in his head. But it all fades away at the sight of Teddy's weak, forced smile. Teddy walks over to their booth, scooting next to Billy.

"Sorry," Teddy says. He sounds drained. He looks worse. He pushes the Flensburger Pilsener out of the way. "Late day at work."

"Is everything alright?" Billy asks, turning into his seat to look at Teddy.Teddy just stares across the room. Billy leans forward, into Teddy's field of vision. "Teddy?" Teddy blinks, forcing another quick smile.

"I'm fine," Teddy says. "Sorry. Just thinking." Billy nods, glancing over at an overly loud patron. Based on his slurred speech and struggles against gravity, he's reached his limit for the night.

"That's more than some people can do right now," Billy says with a smile. It fails to draw even a small one from Teddy. Billy frowns.Teddy looks more like a half-inflated balloon than a man. Cassie walks over, casting a curious look over to Billy.

"Hey, Teds," Cassie says. "Not thirsty tonight?" Teddy looks up, smiling. It's a better facade than Billy got.

"Maybe just some water tonight," Teddy says. "Early day tomorrow."

"I'm gonna feel bad expecting your usual tip then," Cassie says with a laugh. Teddy grins and nods.

"I'd never short you on that, Cassie." She smiles, looking over at Billy. Billy can't make sense of it. He also can't suppress an odd pain from seeing Cassie get a better response than he got.  Questions swirl in Billy's mind: _Did something happen? Have I done something? Should I have done something?_ But they all evaporate as Teddy reaches over, pulling Billy's hand into his own. He squeezes Billy's hand like it's the only thing anchoring him as he stares down at the table.

"Talk to me," Billy says, almost begging. Teddy looks up and gives Cassie a smile as she brings the drink, never letting go of Billy's hand. Billy waits, watching. As Cassie walks away, Teddy releases a long breath of air, fully deflating. He sinks back into the seat, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't have as long tonight," Teddy says. He doesn't look at Billy as he talks. He just rests his head back and stares upwards. "I just want you to know that the past few days have been some of the best in my life." Silence lingers as Billy searches for words. Teddy turns his head, giving a tired smile. All Billy can think to do is squeeze Teddy's hand, his gut wrenched into knots. Teddy speaks before Billy can. "If I wasn't entirely honest with you, would you be upset?" Billy lets his grip fall in confusion, but Teddy keeps their hands together.

"What do you mean?" The question leaves Teddy with both a sheepish grin and a nervous glance, more like a boy caught stealing candy. His eyebrows furrow as he sorts out the words.

"I mean that I'm not technically an engineer like I said." Billy watches Teddy. At some level he isn't surprised. But at another he's stunned that Teddy would lie.

"Technically?" Billy asks, keeping his voice level despite confusion and the poke of hurt.

"I'm not a mechanical engineer, I'm an aerospace engineer. An astronaut, actually." Teddy reaches into his pocket, pulling out a NASA Employee ID badge. Teddy doesn't stop Billy when he picks it up. On it is the NASA emblem, Teddy's picture, Teddy's name boldly printed, and Teddy's title: _Flight Engineer_. Billy blinks, holding it. It isn't freshly made, but scuffed on the face. It's quality plastic, watermarked and laminated.

"Seriously?" Billy asks before he thinks. Teddy nods.

"You can Google me. My hometown printed news articles about me. And my thesis got published. It's on the relationship between different thermally-induced physical states of oxygen and the points at which the paramagnetic properties of oxygen molecules become--"

"No idea what that means." Billy runs his fingers through his hair. If Teddy is lying, he's doing a hell of a job. As Billy thinks back over the details, he suddenly looks up. "You're staying in Cocoa Beach." Teddy nods. "Because it's close to the... the space place."

"Kennedy Space Center," Teddy says. "But 'The Space Place' works too." Billy gives Teddy a pointed look.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Billy asks. Teddy shrugs as he takes his badge from Billy.

"New guy walks into a bar and says he's an astronaut. Would you have believed me?" Billy thinks about that. He likes to think he'd have believed Teddy. "And does it matter?"

"It matters if you're upset," Billy says, frowning. Teddy frowns as well.

"That's not it," Teddy says. For the first time all night, Teddy -- the real Teddy -- looks at Billy. He isn't just tired, he's exhausted. He isn't just sad, he's scared. "If I tell you something, can you never tell anyone about it? Or that I told you?" Billy squints his eyes, looking for a hint on Teddy's face. But any clues are lost in the tempest that still has Teddy clinging to Billy's hand like a lifeline.

"Sure," Billy says. "Just no more big words?" Teddy nods.

"They're keeping it quiet as long as possible, but I'm scheduled for a launch in three days. It's an emergency mission, unlisted and unannounced. The shuttle that launched a month ago had an accident."

"Accident...?" Billy says, brain churning. "What kind of accident does a space shuttle have?" Teddy shifts in his seat, sitting up. His movements are tense.

"They were releasing a satellite when some space junk struck one of the payload doors."

"Is space junk a technical term?" Billy asks, a sardonic half-joke.

"Actually, yeah." Teddy says. "Space debris is the _more_ technical term. Space is cluttered with stuff. Leftover stages from satellite launches, satellites that aren't functional anymore, tools that got dropped on spacewalks. Then that stuff collides with other stuff and makes even smaller stuff, and on and on... all of it flying faster than 10,000 miles per hour. Some of it double that. A fleck of paint once cracked a space shuttle windshield."

"So..."

"So the shuttle doesn't have a payload door anymore," Teddy says, his voice so blunt it's almost a snap. He takes a deep breath, shifting again as he gives Billy an apologetic frown. "They can't reenter the atmosphere. The heat would rip the shuttle apart. Holes and reentry vehicles are a bad combination." Billy isn't sure how to imagine a fleck of paint blasting a shuttle door off. It's at odds with the peace of space he's always imagined. But if the Earth truly is a rock hurdling through a vacuum, it makes sense in a way that leaves Billy with a sense of sublime angst.

"And you're going up to fix it?" Billy asks.

"No," Teddy says. "There is no fixing it. This is a worst-case contingency. It's never happened before and we didn't have a plan in place."

"Then what are you going up for?" Billy can hear himself sounding like his grandmother trying to ask about her computer, knowing that something is wrong but unsure of what anything means. "To pick them up?" Teddy nods.

"Best case scenario, yeah. This is theory we're working with, not something that's been done before. We're going to extract the crew and bring them back on a single shuttle. That's a lot of people on one craft, and taking them on one by one will be at least 36 hours. What I'm doing is going in and seeing how many of the oxygen tanks I can salvage to make sure we don't overburden the oxygen system. And while we're doing all of that, the pilots have to manually keep the shuttles close to each other, but also keep them from colliding in orbit. That's extremely precise flying for a day and a half solid."

"So that's best case scenario," Billy says. "You move them over and get them back. What's the worst case scenario?"

"Worst case scenario is that the shuttles collide and we all die. 10,000 miles an hour, remember?" Billy can feel his head start to spin as he starts to understand, air leaving his lungs, all of reality collapsing onto him. He feels like his face is pale. From the look on Tommy's face, Billy must be pale. But Teddy is so calm as he talks about it.

"But that probably won't happen, right?" Teddy doesn't react.

"Billy," Teddy says. He squeezes Billy's hand, turning in his seat to look in Billy's eyes. "I'm trying not to think about it. I just want to say something before I go. I really like you. You're cute, you're funny, you're sweet. I wouldn't have spent the last few nights doing anything else. I didn't want to go into all of this without saying that." Billy blushes, frowning as he watches Teddy take a sip of his water. "Billy?"

Billy blinks. "Yeah?"

"Preparing a shuttle for launch is a process that takes weeks, and it's being done in _a_ week. I go into quarantine tomorrow. The next two days are the Terminal Countdown Demonstration Test. We--" Billy goes blank, and Teddy smiles. "The two-day dress rehearsal." Teddy pauses. He looks down to his glass, where the ice is melting and the condensation has met the napkin, creeping through it. "My mom couldn't get a flight until tomorrow. She won't be here until the night before the launch."

Billy looks at Teddy. If he thought Teddy was vulnerable before, he had no clue what true vulnerability was. It's Teddy waiting for an answer to a question he never asked, scared for his life and facing his last night alone. It's Teddy with his heart exposed for Billy to do with as he wants. And then it's the deepest relief he imagined possible when Billy reaches over to hug Teddy close, Teddy's arms wrapping around him and holding him tight.

"What about tonight?" Billy asks, whispering in Teddy's ear. Teddy pulls back.

"Tonight?"

"You and me. Is it allowed?" Teddy stares as he thinks, conflicted between the shoulds of duty and coulds of being human. Finally he nods.

"If you're willing to ride back to Cocoa Beach, then yes."

"I am," Billy says into Teddy's shoulder. Teddy's hands rub up and down Billy's back.

"Thank you, Billy." Billy smiles, holding Teddy tighter. It's the longest and most satisfying minute that Billy can remember, but eventually he pulls away.

"We should head out, then," Billy says. He's upbeat, the least thing he can be for Teddy. Teddy nods and smiles, the most genuine smile he's given all night. "I'll grab my stuff and meet you out front." As Billy hops up from the table and heads for the break room, Tommy grabs Billy to stop him.

"What are you doing?" Tommy asks. "And what the fuck was all that?"

"I don't have time to explain," Billy says. As he pulls away, he catches the look Tommy is giving him. "I know what I'm doing. I'll call you tomorrow." Tommy isn't convinced, but isn't protesting. He's watching and waiting. "Trust me, Tommy. Please." Tommy frowns and nods.

"Fine, but _call me_."

"Promise," Billy says. He grabs his cell phone and charger from the counter, grabs the backpack he keeps with a spare change of clothes, and heads for the door. Teddy is waiting in front of what's clearly a rental car, busy moving folders of papers from the passenger floorboard into the back seat.

"Sorry," Teddy says when Billy walks up. Billy brushes his shoulder against Teddy's with a smile. Teddy smiles back. When the seat is clear, Teddy moves out of the way, holding the door open for Billy. "You're sure about this?"

"Completely sure," Billy says. He slides into the seat, setting the backpack in the back seat. Teddy is watching him, giving Billy every chance to back out. Billy just smiles. "Wasting time, Flyboy." Teddy snorts, shutting the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet." -- Rumi

It's an hour's drive from Orlando to Cocoa Beach along the Beachline Expressway, but Billy just sees it as an hour's time alone with Teddy. Headlights and streetlamps light up Teddy's face in pulses, dragging across the softness of his cheek before falling off the cut of his jawline. Billy is surprised at how comfortable the rental car seat is. It's enough that he can lean back and tilt his head for the perfect view of Teddy, as if any view wasn't perfect. He notices the way Teddy grips the steering wheel and chews his lips.

"So," Billy says. He smiles when he sees Teddy's grip relax. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Teddy says with a nervous laugh. "I mean, statistically what I'm doing right now is more dangerous." Billy reaches over and puts his hand on Teddy's shoulder. Teddy sighs, relaxing even more. "Billy?"

"Yeah?" Billy keeps his hand on Teddy's shoulder.

"Thank you." Billy smiles and nods, shifting in his seat. Teddy takes deep breaths, eyes watching the road. A small grin cracks at the corner of his mouth. "The sky's dark tonight." Billy looks up at the sky, only two stars visible past the glow of the streetlights that line the road.

"I mean, it's night," Billy says with a laugh.

"I was just thinking that I'll be up in that darkness. And on the other side of it is a view of every star the human eye can ever see. No cloud cover, no light pollution..." Billy can't shake the cold feeling that washes over him, but he also can't help the smile. "It's all I've ever wanted." Billy blinks.

"You've never been?" Billy asks. "Like, done this before?"

"No," Teddy says. "Never into actual space."

"As opposed to fake space?" Billy grips the seat cushion with a hand, forcing the smile to keep his nerves under control.

"I mean, I guess it depends on your definition. For a while, I was doing pressurization research on Lockheed U2s. They're spy planes. They fly twice as high as commercial jets. So that's 70,000 feet, smack in the middle of the ozone layer and stratosphere. You can even see the curve of the Earth." Billy watches Teddy as he talks. He's smiling as he talks, still glancing up at the sky. There's a glow in his face that defies the streetlights. "That's the highest up I've been. But outer space actually begins at the Karman line, which is 330,000 feet. So, no, I wasn't even close to space."

"For clarification," Billy starts, not even sure he really wants to know, "my family used to visit the top of the Empire State Building. How high up is that?" Teddy can't help the snort and grin, trying to hide it by looking away.

"Sorry," Teddy says, smiling. "Off the top, of my head it's a little over 1,000 feet?" Billy begins to multiply the memory in his head, but makes himself dizzy after 3,000 feet.

"Why?" Billy asks. He can't help the incredulous tone, let alone stop the question from spilling out of his mouth. Teddy looks over, eyebrow cocked. Billy starts to take the question back, but Teddy answers.

"I don't know," Teddy says. Billy's relieved that Teddy isn't offended. He's thoughtful, eyes drifting down the length of the road as he thinks. "Maybe it isn't the best answer, but I never had much tying me to the ground. So I always dreamed of breaking loose from it all and being as high up as I could go. The sky's the limit, right?" Billy nods, looking up into the night sky. It was an unsettling feeling thinking of Teddy being a microscopic speck within the darkness of it all, floating helplessly. "Then a week before I get my chance, I find something else to want. Funny how it works."

"What do you mean?" Billy asks. Teddy doesn't answer, just stares at the road with a soft smile. Billy watches him, waiting. 

"I meant what I said about the past few nights," Teddy says. "About how great you are." Billy can feel the heat in his face, glad for the darkness of the car and Teddy's focus on the road.

"It's mutual," Billy says, smiling. "I don't get in cars with just anybody." Teddy laughs, reaching over for Billy's hand. Billy grabs it, squeezing. "But backing up, you just said you want me."  Teddy doesn't respond, but the pulsing lights betray the redness in his cheeks. Billy grins.

"Fine," Teddy says, chuckling. "I want to get to know you, yeah. I wish I'd have met you a long time ago. That I had more than just a few days with you." It's Billy's turn to blush. He turns and watches Teddy, leaning closer.

"And if we had?" Billy asks. "Would you still be doing this?" Teddy glances at Billy, then back to the road.

"That's a thought," Teddy says.

"A thought with an answer?" Teddy goes quiet. It's a crushing silence, but Billy wants to know. He waits until finally Teddy smiles.

"I guess I would. Like I said, it's the thing I've wanted my entire life. It's a regret I'd have until the day I died. And there might not be a chance after this."

"Why not?"

"Because," Teddy says with a long sigh. "This is bad. This is Challenger levels of bad. This is Apollo 13 levels of bad. But those were avoidable. Those were mistakes that could be prevented in the future. Space junk can't be helped, and this could end manned missions until they figure out a solution. Who knows when that will be."

"Well," Billy says, leaning over and grabbing Teddy's hand again. "What's your best-case scenario?" Teddy glances over, surprised at the question. He squeezes Billy's hand.

"Everything goes well. We get everyone on board, we land, and I'm back with my mom and with you." Billy grins and leans to rest his head on Teddy's shoulder. Teddy leans his head, nuzzling his cheek into Billy's hair. "Sound like a plan?"

"Yeah," Billy says, sighing as he smiles. He stays that way as long as he can, ignoring how the center armrest presses into his side. Billy hugs Teddy's arm, his muscles and shoulder firm and warm as Billy relaxes. In the peace and silence that passes for the rest of the ride, Billy isn't sure when he falls asleep. He wakes up at a tollbooth, just enough to shift his head against the window. Before he falls asleep, his eyes drift open to see a handful of stars clustered in the distant sky. He's never paid them attention before, or considered what they mean. He closes his eyes as the car starts moving again, warm fingers twined through his own.

 

* * *

 

Billy wakes up as the car pulls into a darkened driveway, the sound of waves in the distance as Teddy opens the door. The twenty-minute nap feels like it was longer to Billy. He sits up, rubbing his eyes. The moonlight is enough to see the darkened shape of a small guest house. Teddy walks around to Billy's side of the car, gently opening the passenger door.

"Oh," Teddy says, surprised. "You're awake." Billy nods and smiles.

"Yeah. Sorry." He groans as he stretches, stepping out of the car. Teddy's watching him, smiling.

"Not a problem. You're cute when you're asleep." He leans against that side of the car. Billy smiles, reaching into the backseat for his bag.

"Not when I'm awake?" Billy asks as he climbs out of the car. He's surprised by the hand that slowly winds its way around his stomach, pulling his body back into Teddy's.

"Don't compare a sunrise and a sunset," Teddy says. "It's not fair to either." Billy nods, lightheaded as Teddy nuzzles Billy's shoulder. Blond wisps of hair brush Billy's jaw. Billy leans his head back, his weight fully given back into Teddy's chest. The car supports them, not that there's a doubt in Billy's mind that Teddy couldn't hold them up on his own. Graceful fingers feel Billy's torso through his shirt, more of a need for grounding than a desire for more. Billy reaches down and cover's Teddy's hands with his own, both guiding them and holding them. Billy turns to look at Teddy.

"Are we spending the night out here?" Billy asks with a smile. Teddy smiles back, giving Billy one last hug before slipping from behind him. He leads Billy through the darkness of the front walkway, faintly lit by the garden lights. Keys jingle as Teddy digs them from his pants and opens the door.

Billy blinks as Teddy flips the light switch. The guest house has the artificiality of a hotel room, clean and cared for in a way that defies permanent residence. There's a TV, a kitchen, a couch, and a black coffee table. The shelves are filled with knickknacks, while each wall has a single painting of a lighthouse overlooking the ocean.

The sparse areas of use are the only evidence of occupation. The coffee table is covered with loose papers, three-ring binders, and thick, spiral-bound notebooks. The only color among the chaos is the NASA emblem, buried beneath the black and white of text and diagrams. As Teddy closes the door, Billy peeks inside the opened doors he passes. The only signs of use in the bathroom are Teddy's toothbrush, razor, and towels clumped in the hamper. In the bedroom, Teddy is living out of his suitcase, which is sitting on top of the dresser. The bedsheets are loosely tossed back into place.

"So, what's the plan?" Teddy asks.

"Your night, your choice," Billy says.

"Your idea, your choice,” Teddy says, shaking his head. Billy gives a cheeky grin.

"You mean you didn't have _anything_ planned?" Billy looks up at Teddy, who stares back. Teddy eventually smiles.

"Alright, so maybe I had a few things in mind." Teddy gives Billy a nudge towards the couch as he walks to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. Billy watches, starting to feel his nerves buzz at the thought of tonight's implications. As reality catches up to him, he realizes he's just offered a night far beyond what he's ever done before. Billy breathes through it, trying to force himself back into the mode of feeling rather than thinking, of doing rather than planning. Tonight isn't moving any faster than Teddy's life has moved in the past month. Certainly no faster than it will be in the next week. "I mean, it isn't much," Teddy says as returns, balancing two large glasses, a bottle of root beer, a carton of ice cream, and two spoons.

"Ice cream and root beer?" Billy asks, sitting up. He clears a small spot for Teddy to set it all on the coffee table. Teddy stacks the rest of the papers and sets them on the floor.

"Root beer floats?" Teddy asks. Billy shrugs. Teddy laughs, sitting on the couch next to Billy. "Good thing you met me, then."

"Yeah," Billy says about more than just the offer of ice cream. Teddy looks at him and smiles, tints of red brushing across his cheeks just like Billy saw in the car. Teddy hands Billy a glass, grinning as he pours it halfway full of root beer. He sets the root beer down, picking up the ice cream carton and scooping out as big a spoonful of vanilla ice cream as he can manage. He's careful as he sets it into the glass, the root beer immediately fizzing and bubbling. "Are you feeding me a chemistry experiment?"

"No," Teddy says, laughing as he sets the ice cream down and picks the bottle back up. "It's the best thing you'll ever taste in your life." Billy starts to argue with that, but blushes at just the thought. Teddy pours more root beer into the glass, slowly. The fizz and bubbles threaten to spill. "Keep your hands steady if you don't want a shower."

"Never said I didn't," Billy says with a grin, focusing as best he can on holding the glass still. Teddy looks surprised at the comment, but doesn't say anything. He hands Billy a spoon.

"Foam first," Teddy says. "It's the best part." Billy nods, watching as the ice cream continues to drift closer and closer towards a whipped cream consistency. Never having been a fan of root beer, Billy isn't sure what to expect when he takes his first spoonful. It certainly isn't the sweet, creamy explosion of bliss that ripples from his lips, across his tongue, and down his throat.

"Wow," Billy says, licking his lips. Teddy's fascinated smile makes him think back to what Teddy said earlier about comparing a sunrise to a sunset. He wouldn't trade either of the experiences for the world.

"Yeah?" Teddy asks. Billy nods. Teddy reaches for his own glass, but Billy shakes his head.

"Share mine," Billy says with a smile. Teddy pauses as he thinks, then nods.

"Alright, but I don't hold back on it."

"Can always make more," Billy says.

"True," Teddy says. He grabs a spoon and the remote, settling onto the couch next to Billy. As their shoulders touch, Teddy looks over to watch Billy take his next spoonful. He's slow, testing for permission, as he reaches an arm around to hold Billy closer. Billy smiles and settles next to him. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Why?" Billy asks.

"So suspicious," Teddy says with a laugh.

"This is your night," Billy says, poking Teddy with the thin end of the spoon. "What's _your_ favorite movie?"

"This is _our_ night," Teddy says, earning a frown from Billy. "And anyway, my favorite movie is Apollo 13."

"And we aren't watching that because...?" Billy asks, noticing Teddy's tone.

"Because it's about the Apollo 13 _accident._ If it's okay, that's a little too close to home right now." Billy sighs, nodding. He sidles up closer to Teddy, grounding him by twining their fingers together.

"Promise not to laugh?" Billy asks. Teddy nods. "My favorite movie is The Sound of Music." Billy ducks his head, shoving a spoonful of root beer float into his mouth. When he looks up, Teddy is smiling down at him. Not laughing, not mocking, just smiling.

"Sounds good," Teddy says as he starts to scroll through the on-demand movies. "Can't get much further from space than that." Billy leans his head against Teddy's chest.

"What happened to Apollo 13?" Billy asks, anxiety antagonizing his curiosity.

"You mean the accident? Or the outcome?"

"Both." Teddy finds The Sound of Music on the list, face neutral as he answers.

"The oxygen tanks blew up," Teddy says. Billy jerks his head. "It was a mechanical comedy of errors. An oxygen tank got damaged during a retrofitting for the mission, on top of oversights made during an upgrade of the tanks' electrical system. Those combined to cause a runaway pressurization which made one tank explode. That explosion damaged the other tank."

"So not something normal," Billy says out loud, entirely for himself.

"That? No. But the Challenger disaster was caused by a rubber ring and a cold Florida morning. So when it comes to spaceflight, pick your poison for what a normal accident is." Billy sinks lower. Teddy looks down at him, frowning. "To answer your question," Teddy says with a much softer tone, "Apollo 13 made it back. Everyone at NASA worked their asses off and made it happen." He meets Billy's eyes as the movie begins. Billy nods, working a smile onto his lips.

"You're right," Billy says. "No space talk tonight." Teddy nods. As they watch, Billy is impressed by how much root beer float Teddy can consume. The bottle is gone long before the tub of ice cream, which Billy takes over.

"What do you do for fun?" Teddy asks.

"Draw," Billy says. "You?"

"Hot air ballooning. Skydiving. Hang gliding." When Billy casts a sideways glance, Teddy grins. "I have a thing against gravity."

"If I let you pick one of those things for us to do together, what would it be?"

"Hot air ballooning," Teddy says. "Just you and me, floating wherever the wind takes us."

"So that starts the list of things we'll do together."

"A list," Teddy says, chuckling. Billy nods. "And what are you adding to the list?" Teddy pulls Billy into his lap. Strong arms wrap around Billy's body, holding him tight.

"Well, have you been to New York?" Billy asks.

"Not even close."

"Then I can take you there and show you around."

"I'd like that," Teddy says.

"You said your mom has to fly in?" Teddy nods, the infinitesimally tighter squeeze of Teddy's arm surprising Billy. It reminds him of what tonight is for. He reaches down and runs his fingers over Teddy's arms. "Where are you from?"

"The western part of Virginia. A little town tucked between West Virginia, Tennessee, and Kentucky. And you're from New York?" Billy nods.

"Upper West Side," Billy says. Teddy shakes his head and shrugs. "It's in Manhattan?" Teddy grins and shrugs again. "It's the best part of the city, that's all you need to know." Teddy chuckles and ruffles Billy's hair. "So where do you live now?"

"Depends on the project," Teddy says. "I move between Langley, Ohio, and D.C."

"Langley? Like C.I.A?"

"More like Langley Research Center," Teddy says. "But I've contracted with the C.I.A." Billy looks at Teddy, surprised. Teddy gives a sheepish smile. "Nothing fancy. It was when I worked on those spy planes I talked about. The U2s." Billy nods.

"Where's home for you?" Billy asks. Teddy squeezes him, breathing into Billy's hair. A warm place in Billy thinks he's answering the question.

"Virginia or D.C. Maybe half of my work is in Ohio, but... I really don't like it."

"Why not?"

"It's Northern Ohio. Like, Canadian border. Flat, cold, snowy... I'm a Southern boy, we don't do that."

"Oh, you're gonna _love_ New York," Billy says with a grin. Teddy smiles back, chuckling.

"Ohio doesn't have you." Billy blushes. Hard. He hides it by shifting and burying his face into Teddy's shoulder. "What about you? Where do you live?"

"With Tommy. We have an apartment near the bar." Teddy nods.

"How'd you end up in Florida?"

"School. I went to Ringling College."

"Like the circus?" Billy gives a small grin, nodding.

"It isn't _just_ a circus. Florida has some of the best animation and illustration schools in the country. Plus, our friend Kate decided to open the bar. It just worked out."

"You said you were working on your portfolio," Teddy says. His fingers play with the belt loops of Billy's jeans. Billy nods.

"It isn't the easiest industry to break into. Plus, I needed some time after school."

"Yeah," Teddy says with a sigh. Billy relaxes against him, enjoying the way Teddy melts against him. They slip into a comfortable silence as they watch the movie. Billy loves the way that Teddy's fingers drag across his skin. Billy evaporates into the moment and into Teddy.  

After a while, Billy realizes that Teddy is barely watching the movie. When he tilts his head for a better look, Teddy seems miles away. Billy turns to wrap his arms around Teddy's neck, jolted by the smell and feel of Teddy in his new position. Teddy looks at him, blinking. Billy gives a small smile, reaching a hand up to brush Teddy's cheek. Teddy takes Billy's wrist and moves Billy's hand to his mouth, kissing Billy's fingers. Billy lets him, patient, before moving to press his lips against Teddy's as soon as his hand is moved out of the way.

Teddy lets out a deep breath, placing his hands on Billy's back and pulling him close. The kiss is slow and gentle, lips holding together as Billy places his hands on Teddy's chest, sighing. He lets out a small moan as Teddy shifts, locking their lips together, pressure squeezing Billy's bottom lip. When Teddy growls and pulls Billy closer by the ass, Billy groans. He's lost in the point of contact, the searing heat of firm lips. They break just long enough for a breath before Teddy is kissing Billy again, this time a tongue sweeping over Billy's lip. As soon as his lips part just a fraction of an inch, a strong tongue is tangling with Billy's. Billy melts in Teddy's arms, clinging to him.

Billy doesn't know how long the kiss lasts, but he's panting for air when they break apart. His face is searing, his body buzzing. Teddy looks back, dazed and blinking, mouth still parted. It tempts Billy forward for another kiss. As he shifts, his thigh presses against Teddy's erection. Teddy hisses and rolls his head back, driving his hips up for more friction. As soon as it happens, he blushes and shifts Billy away.

"Sorry," Billy says, panting. Teddy nods, burying his face in Billy's neck. Lips graze the skin of Billy's neck, a tongue and teeth working a mark that has Billy grunting and whining. "Teddy..."

"Billy." Teddy holds him tight, panting hard into his neck. "Fuck I want you." Billy nods, biting his lip.

"Want you too," Billy says, mumbling. Teddy looks at him.

"Something wrong?" Billy shifts lightly, slow to answer. Teddy waits him out.

"I haven't done much more than this." Teddy nods, gently pulling Billy against his chest.

"If it helps," Teddy says, "I've never gone all the way." Billy looks up at Teddy's smile. Billy chuckles and presses his forehead to Teddy's shoulder.

"It does, kinda. Yeah."

"I'm not asking you to do anything tonight, Billy. Fuck, you've already done so much." Billy nods and leans in to kiss Teddy's lips, soft and gentle and warm. Teddy kisses back, enjoying the delicateness.

"I didn't say no to anything." Teddy nods, hands on Billy's sides. "And you deserve it." Teddy cuts his eyes in the shock of reality's intrusion. Billy cups Teddy's cheek. "I want you to have me."

"Uh..." Teddy swallows, dazed. "What about the movie?"

"I've seen it," Billy says with a smile. Teddy watches as Billy awkwardly shifts, trying to figure out the process. He knows the goal -- Tab A, Slot B -- but struggles with the setup. "Do you have, uh... stuff?"

Teddy watches him, lost for a moment. He leans forward to give Billy a quick, strong kiss that leaves Billy spinning and wanting more. "Come on." Teddy stands, holding Billy in his arms. Billy clings to him, arms around Teddy's neck as he's carried to the bedroom. Teddy is careful as he sets Billy down, taking Billy with another kiss as he leans him back onto the bed. Teddy's hands slip under Billy's shirt, running up his chest. Billy shivers at the touch, back raising up into the hand as fingers stop at Billy's nipples, teasing him. Billy's attention draws to the hand trailing over his thigh, stopping as it cups his erection through his jeans. Billy gasps, hips grinding upwards. Teddy's tongue teases Billy's, distracting him as a slow, torturous pump of his hand has Billy on the verge of overheating.

"Teddy," Billy whines. Teddy is watching him, eyes glazed as blood rushes from his brain and pools in the bulge in his jeans. "Please," Billy says, lost in the feelings swirling through his body and mind. "Just... please." Teddy lets out a long sigh and pulls Billy on top of him.

"I don't want to fuck you tonight." Billy blinks like he’s been doused with water.

"Why not?"

"Because," Teddy says, running his fingers through Billy's hair. "I don't want to waste our first time on a quick fuck before I leave in the morning. I want to take the time to enjoy you." Billy furrows his brow, about to ask what Teddy means about wasting it, but Teddy takes his lips in another slow, gentle kiss. "I want something to come back to."

Billy frowns. "Are you sure?" Teddy nods. Billy looks away, thinking. "You can say if I did something wrong." Teddy snorts, taking Billy's hand and putting it over his sizable and rock-hard erection.

"Does it feel like you did?" Teddy draws a chuckle out of Billy. Billy squeezes, warmed by the groan Teddy gives. Teddy grins. "And I didn't say I didn't want _something_ tonight."

"Yeah?" Billy asks. Teddy nods, hugging Billy close. "What have you done before?" Teddy shrugs.

"Jacked off with a friend. Jacked off a friend. Sucked him. You?"

"Kissed a guy in college?" Billy says.

"Then what do you _want_ to do?" Billy blushes, licking his lips as he looks over Teddy. He shifts back onto his knees.

"Take your shirt off." Teddy nods and slips it over his head. A necklace lands onto Teddy's broad chest, caught in the shirt. Billy might be drooling at the sight of Teddy underneath him. Billy swallows. "And the jeans." Teddy grins and pulls Billy's hand to the button and zipper.

"Get me started?" Billy braves a smirk, giving a teasing rub over the bulge. Teddy both laughs and moans. "The pants."

"Yeah, yeah." Billy undoes the button and pulls down the zipper, opening the flap to expose Teddy's black boxers. He shifts up enough for Teddy to push them down his thighs, kicking them off and onto the floor.

"Your turn," Teddy says, folding his arms behind his head. Billy gives a nervous stretch, not intending to entice the growl that Teddy gives. Billy smiles and slips his shirt off, trying to make it graceful but fumbling with it at the last second. He's about to apologize when he sees the lost look on Teddy's face, his mouth slipped open as he stares at Billy's body. "So beautiful." Billy smiles and works off his pants, abandoning the attempts at grace. He settles back into position over Teddy, watching him.

"What I wanted to do, huh?" Teddy nods, watching, curious. Billy moves down to nuzzle the erection tenting Teddy's boxers. He feels it strain against this cheek. He grins and kisses it through the fabric, feeling it strain even harder.

"Teasing," Teddy says, his voice strained.

"Yeah." Billy nuzzles it with his nose before wrapping his hand around it. Teddy sets his jaw, pressing his head back into the pillow. Billy feels it in his hand, giving a test pump, before releasing it and hooking his fingers on the waistband of Teddy’s boxers. Billy looks to him. "Can I?"

"Hurry," Teddy says, his patience breaking. Billy smiles and slides the boxers down Teddy's thighs, moaning at the sight of Teddy's erection straining upwards as the waistband slides past it. "Billy..." Billy nods and takes Teddy in his hand, working him with slow, firm strokes. Every inch is slow and deliberate, Billy looked up when Teddy grunts. He releases the shaft and reaches down to cup Teddy's balls in his hands, rolling them as Teddy bites his lip, hips gently rocking down into the bed and up into the air.

Billy slowly increases the pace as Teddy's hips thrust harder upwards, watching Teddy reacting underneath him. Billy could spend every minute of his life just like this, working Teddy to bliss. With a flick of his thumb across the head, Teddy grunts and jerks his head back, clawing at the sheets.

"Close," Teddy says, voice strung tight. Billy nods and leans down, taking Teddy's head into his mouth, stroking the shaft as he fumbles his way through his first time. Teddy is too far gone to tell, the heat of a mouth enveloping his erection driving him into another level of begging and pleading and grunting. "Billy..." It’s too quick for Billy to realize what he means as the orgasm visibly wracks Teddy's body, an eruption of cum filling Billy's mouth. Billy swallows without thinking, panting when he pulls loose and gently pumps Teddy as he rides the afterglow. Teddy’s chest is rising and falling, his eyes barely open. He blinks as he looks at Billy, a dopey smile on his face.

Billy's own need throbs between his legs. Teddy pulls Billy up, pushing Billy's boxers down enough to wrap his fingers around Billy's erection. Still hard, Teddy holds them together and strokes them both. The way Teddy flicks his wrist with each stroke, the heat and firmness of Teddy’s cock against his own, the memory of Teddy's grunts and begs has Billy breaking down fast, streams of cum painting Teddy's chest and hips. Billy crashes down onto Teddy, whose arms wrap around Billy, holding him close.

"Wow," Billy says, chest still heaving.

"Yeah." Teddy's arms give a weak squeeze around Billy's body. Billy rests his head on Teddy's chest, the necklace by his nose. His fingers crawl up Teddy's sides and arms and chest, his palm pressed over Teddy's heartbeat. Teddy's warmth radiates into Billy, a closeness he's never experienced before. A deep breath fills him with a world of Teddy, deepened by the way Teddy's finger's splay across Billy's back. Teddy's other hand gently moves to Billy's cheek, his thumb brushing over Billy's lips. Billy smiles and kisses them before looking up at Teddy. Teddy smiles down at him, a warmth and relaxation devoid of the stress and worry he had been bearing.

"Fuck," Billy says with a deep sigh, reaching to hold Teddy's hand. Teddy twines his fingers with Billy's.

"Soon," Teddy says with a grin. Billy rolls his eyes. "We should shower."

"Yeah." Billy nods, but doesn't move.

"Yeah?"

"Can't move," Billy says.

"And you've got me pinned." Billy smiles and nods as Teddy moves underneath him. Teddy grins. "Want me to move you?"

"Fine," Billy says, shifting onto his knees, straddling Teddy's waist. He leans forward and kisses Teddy with a gentle press of lip to lip. It's Teddy whose tongue swipes forward, parting Billy's lips and slipping into his mouth. Billy whines from his throat, tongues dancing, Billy's head spinning. When Teddy pulls back, Billy is surging forward for more. Teddy smirks, giving him another quick kiss on the lips.

"Come on," Teddy says, sitting up. He takes Billy's hand and pulls him from the bed. Pulled from the warm bed and warmth of Teddy, Billy suddenly realizes his nakedness. Teddy pulls him along towards the bathroom as Billy feels his face go hot. The cool tile sends a jolt through Billy's body. Teddy reaches in to the turn the shower on. When he looks at Billy, Billy reels in self-consciousness. Teddy smiles at the shyness plastered across Billy's face. He pulls Billy close, their nude bodies pressed against each other as they wait for the water to warm. Teddy's arm snakes around and gently rubs Billy's back, dipping lower each time. His fingers tease the globes of Billy's ass. "You're so amazing."

Billy flushes, a smile cracking his lips as he leans closer and buries his face in Teddy's neck. "Nothing compared to you." A finger slips underneath Billy's chin and tilts his gaze up towards Teddy's.

"You're everything compared to me. I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend this night." Billy both melts and freezes, caught between the intimacy of the moment and the context of it all. He lets out a deep, shaking sigh. Teddy looks down at him. "This night and every other night we're going to have. Just believe in me?"

"Always," Billy says. Teddy smiles, pulling Billy into the shower alongside him. The warm spray of water embraces them both.

 

* * *

 

Billy sits on the bed in one of Teddy's t-shirts and a pair of his pajama pants, watching the bathroom for glimpses of Teddy as he dries off. When he walks out, he's in a second pair of pajama pants, shirtless. Billy feels his cheeks go warm as Teddy sits on the bed next to him, pulling him close. As they relax against each other, Billy's fingers reach up to Teddy's necklace. Without the distractions of before, he finally takes a close, meaningful look. The black cord around Teddy's neck is a harsh contrast to the soft, inviting skin beneath it. The pendant that rests on Teddy's chest is a plastic, nickel-sized orb with a black-gray piece of metal inside.

"A rock?" Billy asks, turning it at different angles.

"A meteorite," Teddy says. Billy squints and looks closer, trying to find some kind of distinguishing mark.

"A real one?"

"Straight from the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter,” Teddy says with a nod.

"Another NASA perk?"

"No. My mother bought it for me after my father died." Billy frowns and sets it on Teddy's chest. Before he can fully let go, Teddy reaches up to squeeze Billy's hand, squeezing the pendant inside Billy's fist. "It's fine. It was a long time ago."

"Were you close?" Billy asks. He sits up, looking at Teddy. Teddy shakes his head.

"Not really. I was only five, and he was always working in the coal mines. We never got close. One night he was exhausted coming home. He fell asleep coming down the ridge side and went over a hairpin curve." Billy frowns, but Teddy shrugs it away. "Like I said, it's fine."

"Can I ask why it's a meteorite and not a piece of coal?" Teddy gives a warm, longing smile.

"She knew I liked space," Teddy says. "So she told me it was something he mined in heaven and dropped down for me." Billy opens his hand and looks closer at it. Teddy smiles, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Billy's head. "What about your parents?"

"My dad's a cardiologist and my mom's a psychologist. So, like any good child, I did the opposite and became a starving artist."

"It makes you happy, right?" Billy cuts a glance at Teddy.

"You sound like my mom," Billy says.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Freud would have something different to say." Teddy grins. He hugs Billy tight and shifts Billy on top of himself. Billy smiles, letting his head rest on Teddy's chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I could do this forever."

"I want to give you that," Teddy says. Billy nods, relaxing as Teddy runs his hand up underneath the shirt. In the timelessness of being close to Teddy, Billy can barely hear someone knocking on the front door. His brain is slow to register the sound.

"Is that important?" Billy finally asks.

"No," Teddy says. Keys jingle and the doorknob turns. Billy starts to jolt upwards, but Teddy holds him close. Faint steps stop at the bedroom door. A light draws across the far wall as the door cracks open.

"Teddy?" A man asks.

"Yeah, Nate?" Billy relaxes, but only slightly. He looks down at the door just as Nate opens it wider and peeks inside. Billy feels the chill of embarrassment as Nate looks the two of them over.

"Just checking on you."

"I'm fine," Teddy says, fingers twining through Billy's hair.

"Alright," Nate says with a nod. "Need anything before morning?"

"Nah," Teddy says. "Just make sure I'm up."

"Sure thing. Night, you guys." Billy's body rings from the last few words. He holds Teddy closer.

"Billy?" Teddy asks. Billy looks up, eyes fixing on Teddy's nervous frown.

"I'm here," Billy says, rubbing Teddy's collarbone with his thumb. "Not going anywhere."

"I wish I could say the same." Teddy lets out a tense breath. Billy reaches up and kisses Teddy's lips. It's delicate and reassuring, a light touch that sends shockwaves through Teddy. He holds Billy tighter and buries his face in Billy's hair. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Billy sits up to look Teddy in the eyes. "If this is your dream, then there's nothing to be sorry for." Teddy stares, processing, then nods.

"I'll be back to you," Teddy says. "I promise."

"That's all I need." They hold each other tight, heartbeats and ocean waves counting the minutes as they enjoy the touch and presence. Billy isn't sure when he falls asleep, but he thinks the last words he manages are, "I need you."

Unless it's a dream, Billy is sure Teddy says, "I need you too."

 

* * *

 

Billy doesn't know what time it is when the warmth beneath him shifts and pulls away. More asleep than awake, he pulls Teddy's pillow close and curls against it, taking deep breaths of Teddy's smell. He can't get himself to wake up when warm lips press to his, kissing him. He aches for more, for none of it to ever end. He whines when the lips pull away.

As Billy fights to wake himself, warm breath washes over his ear carrying three precious words: "I love you." Billy sighs, mumbling the words in return. He hopes they're clear enough for Teddy to understand. With one last push, he cracks his eyes open just enough for a blurry vision of Teddy smiling down at him.  The gentle hand against his cheek cuts the anchor, leaving Billy drifting back to sleep.

"Bye, Billy." Billy nods, eyes closing. He's too tired to say it back, sure. But the truth is that he can't bear to say it. He lets the goodbye float away as the bedroom door shuts, sleep dragging him away from the pain.

 

* * *

 

When Billy wakes up, the first thing he processes is that Teddy loves him. Those three words said in their final moment together. Warmth fills Billy's chest, but it quickly gives way to the crushing sickness of Teddy's absence. The bed is cold, and Teddy's bags are gone. All Billy has left of Teddy are the clothes he slept in and the pillow in his arms. He enjoys those as much as he can, begging for sleep to take him under.

Sleep doesn't come. Billy resists the urge to move, but he finally resigns himself to the day. The first day without Teddy. He lets out a long, deep breath. When he sits up, gravity draws a weighted softness around his neck before he feels a tap on the chest.

His hand reaches up to feel the pendant of Teddy's necklace.


End file.
